Passivity in problem solving
As passive behavior is manifested,
what are the causes and consequences of such a condition
I won't make it, it's not even worth trying
The text appeared in the printed edition of the newspaper: Magazine Novosti - Život plus
Journalist: Tatjana Loš
Answering: Bojana Škorić, master psychologist and psychotherapist
Imagine person: "She/he is withdrawn. Quiet. Always stands to the side in company. Shows no initiative. an introvert. Across from her/him is complete opposite. A communicative, engaged, and open person." For the first, we would immediately say first one is passive, and for the second that osinherently active. However, this is just one of many stereotypes, because passive behavior has an entirely different fundamental bassis.
Bojana Škorić, psychologist and psychotherapist, helps us recognize it and explains its background and manifestation.
What is the first, visible sign of passive behavior?
The first association that might come to mind when thinking about passive behavior is the image of a inert, quiet person who stands aside in social settings and shows no initiative. On the other hand, for someone who is communicative and involved in multiple areas, we might a priori say they behave actively. This view of active and passive behavior is overly simplistic and represents a stereotype.
Passive behavior is that which does not fulfill personal desires and values, and in problematic situations, it's behavior that does not lead to a solution. This means that a person might be putting energy into resolving a problem in social relationships, at work, or in close relationships for a long period, without seeing any progress. To an observer, this might seem active, but the repetition of the problem over time indicates that a certain approach isn't leading to improvement. That's when we speak of passivity.
What causes it and how can it manifest?
The basis of passive behavior is the belief that problems cannot be overcome. A person may deny the existence of a problem, minimize its importance, dismiss the idea that they could act differently, or assess that they lack the ability to handle the challenge differently. Transactional analysis distinguishes several forms of passivity:
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Sometimes a person may literally do nothing to influence the situation.
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Over-adaptation involves fulfilling assumed demands, even if the other party didn't ask for them.
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Agitation has no constructive goal; for example, it could be tapping a foot, twisting hair, aimlessly scrolling on a phone, compulsively changing TV channels, etc.
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Incapacitation is an indirect way for a person to ask someone else to solve a problem for them.
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Violence is also a form of passivity because the problem is not approached rationally, but by intimidating the surroundings.
An overly protective parenting style, where a parent doesn't allow the child to find a solution but instead does the task for them, can lead to the child becoming passive in future problematic situations. Highly stressful events can lead to the conclusion that what is desired cannot be achieved and that it's not worth putting effort in that direction.
Do we often mistake passive behavior for aggression, as in the common saying that "someone seems nice and withdrawn, but actually suppresses or conceals aggressiveness"?
The idea that expressing disagreement can lead to the termination of social relationships can lead a person to refuse to acknowledge feelings of anger, or if they do notice it, to not express it assertively. This is when anger gets suppressed. The risk of this approach is that, in response to minor triggers in the present, emotions from the past can resurface in an intensified form.
How we can work on ourselves to overcome this emotional state?
First, we need to recognize in which situations we tend to withdraw in communication, preferring to keep silent about what's important to us, or being unwilling to confront unpleasant feelings and trying to "mask" the problem with some activity. Then, we need to look for the root causes of passivity, which are often irrational beliefs about ourselves and others. We should also seek out positive examples in the behaviors of others who don't have this kind of problem. If a person finds it difficult to overcome this state on their own, psychotherapy is an appropriate way to work through it.
How far can passive behavior go, and how does it affect relationships?
One extreme manifestation is recognized as dependent personality disorder, where an individual gives up on strengthening the abilities that characterize an independent person. Their sense of security and self-worth then depends on the reactions of others. Performing a job where a person experiences a Sisyphus-like feeling of never-ending anxiety, where effort is accompanied by a sense of "standing still," and where results don't bring satisfaction, raises questions about motivation, interests, and ultimately, the meaning the person attributes to their chosen work. When an individual doesn't take action to find tasks or working conditions that would satisfy them, a passive attitude can manifest as a disavowal of responsibility for their own satisfaction.
Is there a connection between passive behavior and depression?
Thoughts that can be linked to a depressive cognitive style and passivity include, for example: "Even if I try, I won't get what I want," "I'll never have good skills like someone successful, it's not worth trying," "When I tried, I failed, which means I won't succeed in the future," or "I'll never succeed." If such attitudes don't change over time, we can expect an intensification of unpleasant emotions, behavioral passivity, and the formation of a negative self-image, which are some indicators of depression.
What are the mechanisms to combat the feeling of emptiness, which is often without clear reason?
When we can't identify an immediate trigger in the present for feelings of emptiness, lethargy, reduced satisfaction, and a lack of motivation to act, we look for answers in the person's beliefs and attitudes, or past experiences. The feeling of emptiness can be a signal that our current desires are unfulfilled.
To overcome the feeling of emptiness, it's important to recognize its cause. If desires were unfulfilled in childhood due to parental strictness or circumstances that the young person couldn't control, the feeling of emptiness was an adequate response. The problem arises when the old feeling returns in the present. In such cases, it's important to work on actualizing the potential to react in the "here and now."
It can be helpful to seek answers to the question: "What positive, constructive, or creative things can I do to be satisfied with life?" Sometimes it's hard to get started, and change doesn't have to happen immediately. A responsible approach to personal mental health involves taking an active stance towards what we perceive as a problem—to remember what content and environment help us express our creative abilities. Even small changes, like connecting with friends or recognizing inspiring and useful content that positively colors our everyday life, can make a difference.
